dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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