We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
