Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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