as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my being single is dangerous.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
