like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
