Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
