the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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