let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The struggles of a small town man whore
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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