careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
