Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
