saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
