Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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