Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
