my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
