So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
