what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It was confusing and full of hummus
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
