Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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