we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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