that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
