ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
