Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize