Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
