also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
