apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
