i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
