he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
