i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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