You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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