the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
