The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
