I hate all girls vehemently.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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