Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
