I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
