I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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