meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
