Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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