New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
