Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
