Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
