If i come over, it means nothing
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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