hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
