I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
