i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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