the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Small penises have feelings too.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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