i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
