we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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