we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
