Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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