Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
