yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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