i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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