I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just googled if crying burns calories
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
